hazardous_OR_GAZ_UM's Xanga

!!!BLAH!!!

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 03:49:03 GMT

So...

I guess I havent stopped using drugs....

I sill use pot, coke, acid, mushrooms, ect...

I feel bad because I can't stop but what else can I do?

I had an ex-boyfriend that said he would help me stop but I guess he dosn't want anything to do with me since he never calls e or writes me any messages.

My parents know I'm using pot again (they don't know about the other drugs) but they don't care as long as it's not in the house...

So thats pretty cool.

Since I've been back I got my eyebrow peirced and my lip.

It's fucking awesome.

Well, I guess thats all I got to say...

HAVE A HAPPY X-MAS!

--Madi

THE END

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:17:35 GMT

So this may be my last entry.

I am no longer allowed on this site. (parents new rule)

I haven't been on here for a while because I have been on the run and in rehab for my drug use.

I have finally got my life some what back on track.

I have been clean AND sober for almost 4 months now...

I am still going to Tate High School and I'm also living back home with my crazy YET loveing parents.

So see you all around.

Peace out.

Pickle and my new rat MoJo Jo-Jo.

This is me with a new hair color. YAY!!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 22:56:27 GMT

Today was really shitty.

My friend and I went to my house during lunch and smoked some pot...

But when we were done we couldn't finda a ride back to school...

So we had to skip the last two periods.

Billy was going to come with us but he kinda wondered away so we didn't know if he was still comming or not...

Here is a picture of Billy!

(Billy is on the left and Andrew is on the right)

Andrew dosn't smoke because he's on probation.

Haha.

he sucks.

Well, I guess thats all I have to say...

See you all tomarrow.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 17:52:28 GMT

I GOT A RAT!!!!

I named him Pickle Weasel. ^_^

I got him at Petland for like 5 dollors.

I love him so much!

I take him everywhere besides school because last time I took a pet to school I got kicked out for the rest of the day.

That's a picture of Pickle Weasel giving me kisses.

Felicia also got a rat...

It's name is...I can't remember...

But here is a picture of her rat.

She's so cute!

But she shit's everywhere. XP

Oh yeah by the way Felicia lives with me now...

It's great!

We've been having so much fun staying up all night playing video games and shit.

Haha. Check out this picture of me from this morning.

I was so fucking tired...

And I was also pissed.

Oh yeah!

My parents found my pipe the day before yestrday and my dad said he's going to give it back when I turn 18. YAY!

I have a picture of the pipe too. XP

That was a picture of it before it before it had been used.

Well, I'm going outside on the porch to smoke a cigg.

I'll write more later...maybe.

Crystal Meth

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 20:18:05 GMT

Crystal Meth

I destroy homes, I tear families apart
I take your children and that’s just the start
I’m more valued than diamonds, more precious than gold
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold
If you need me remember I’m easily found
I live all around you, in school and town
I live with the rich, I live with the poor
I live just down the street and maybe next door
I’m made in a lab, but not one you think
I can even be made under the kitchen sink
In your child’s closet and even in the woods.
Does this scare you to death?
Because it should
I have many names, but there’s one you’ll know best
I’m sure you’ve heard of me. My name is Crystal Meth
My power is awesome, try me you’ll see.
But if you do, you may never break free
Just try me once and I might let you go
But if you try me twice, then I am your soul
When I possess you, you’ll steal and lie
You’ll do whatever you have to, just to get high
The crimes you’ll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you reel in my arms
You’ll lie to your mother and steal from your dad
When you see the tears, you must feel sad
Just forget your morals and how you were raised
I’ll be your conscience and teach you my ways
I’ll take kids from their parents and parents from their kids
I take people from God and people from their friends
I’ll take everything from you, your look and pride
I’ll be with you, always by your side
You’ll give up everything, your family, your home
Your money, your friends, then you’ll be alone
I’ll take and take till you have no more to give
When I’m finished with you, you’ll be lucky to live
If you try me, be warned this isn’t a game
If I’m given the chance, I’ll drive you insane
I’ll ravage your body, I’ll control your mind
I’ll own you completely, your soul will be mine
The nightmares I’ll give you, while your lying in bed
My voice you’ll hear from inside your head
The sweats, shakes and visions you’ll see
I want you to know, these are gifts from me
By then its too late. You’ll know in your heart
That you are now mine and we shall never part
You’ll regret that you tried me
But you came to me, not I to you
You knew this would happen, many times you were told
But you challenged my powers, you choose to be held
You could of said no and then walked away
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
My power is awesome, as I told you before
I can take your mother and make her a whore
I’ll be your master and you’ll be my slave
I’ll even help take you to your grave
Now that you’ve met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It’s up to you
I can show you more misery than words can tell
Come hold my hand, let me lead you to HELL!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 01:01:54 GMT

So, tonight Rae is spending the night. ^_^

We are going to go down to a friends house and smoke some weed and get drunk out of are minds!

I got my hair cut today!

Check it out!!!

Isn't it pretty. ^_^

I'll write more latter!

Byes!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 02:57:59 GMT

I am now 16 years old!

My birthday was on March 18th...

I got so drunk it was great!

I started licking Cody's face and hugging Hanna. ^_^

It was AWESOME!

This weekend I might be getting drunk again...

YAY!

I got my nose repeirced!

And in like 4 months I'm putting a hoop in. ^_^

Well, I gots to go.

BYES!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 03:22:34 GMT

I swear I'm going to kill everyone in on this stupid fucking planet!!!

I hate everything and everyone!

Everyone is either a lier, backstaber, poser, or just an asshole!!!

I hope the world comes to an end soon...

I can't take this anymore!!!

I could bring it all to an end by commiting suicide but that would show everyone that I am weak.

I don't know what the fucking I'm doing anymore!!!

I think the reason why I'm pissed off right now is because I forgot to take my meds this morning....

I start drug treat ment sometime this week I think...

I don't think I'm going to go...

I like weed...What can I say?

I'm not going to change for anyone!

I just want to get threw life happy!

I'm also going to smoke fucking ciggs. if I want to also!

I'm tired of people telling me that it's bad and shit...

I already know that!

Tell me something I don't already know!!

I'm going fucking INSANE!!!!

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!

I feel like running around my house screaming at the top of my lungs and banging my head on the wall and cutting everyones head off!!!

I'm fucking tired of my stupid brain!!

It's fucked up!!

It's as if I have no control over my own thoghts!!

I feel POWERLESS!!!!!

Someone get a fucking gun and shot me!!

I'm so fucking alone...I can't stand it anymore!!!!

I'm tired of lieing to my parents!!!

Like today...I asked my dad for 5 dollors. He asked why. I said it i needed it to pay back my school...But I really bought 2 packs of ciggs. with it...

I smoke about a half a pack to a full pack a day.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WONG WITH ME!!!???

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 01:32:32 GMT

So yeah...

This weekend I'm going to a church thing because Adam (my cousin) talked me into going.

I'm not sure if I'm going to go because I think my friend is mad at me because when I was depressed I blamed her for something she most likely didnt do but I was stoned and depressed that I started blaming her....

I told her I was sorry I just don't think she's going to forgive me...

But now I'm nervous to go to the church thing because I wouldn't feel right having to be a roung someone for 3 days that hates me...

I'm so confused what should I do????????????

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 16:01:48 GMT

Since Wensday morning I've been in the psycward.

I now know that I need meds and can't keep telling myself that everything is going to be alright while I'm digging myself into a deeper hole.

I have to go to some drug treatment when I get out because I had to do a UA and it was dirty.

Right now I'm on a 4 hour pass home.

I have to be back at the psyca ward at 9pm.

Well, just so you know I miss you all very much.

Later.